HOW TO STUFF YOUR TURKEY AND YOURSELF

HOW TO STUFF YOUR TURKEY AND YOURSELF

We’ve all been there: You’re having a holiday feast, piling second and third helpings on your plate, and complimenting your loved ones for the effort and ingenuity they put into their dishes. After the meal, you have some alone time with your partner and the hours of free time afforded by the holiday.

But wait: How are you supposed to unbutton your pants for sex when you’ve already unbuttoned them to accommodate your belly? Is sex on a full stomach always regrettable? To get the answers to these eternal questions—in time for Thanksgiving, of course—FUN FACTORY asked three experts on food and sex.

 

Saniyyah Lateef (aka HeauxOnTheGeaux) is a community sexual health educator, pleasure activist, and abortion doula.

What are some aphrodisiac foods that would fit in on a Thanksgiving menu?
SL: I would definitely say pumpkin pie or apple pie. Anything with a cinnamon spice, because that's super sexy and sensual, and also, who doesn't love cinnamon spice on Thanksgiving? Also, something cranberry. Vitamin C is really good in general for the body. I just love citrus, so I think it's kind of an aphrodisiac.

It's also good for vaginal health, so it's got that going for it.
SL: Right! It is good for vaginal health.

What are the best things to eat on Thanksgiving if you know you want to get busy later?
SL: I think that depends on what you're planning on doing. So, if you're planning on having like, vulva-to-vulva sex, or penis-and-vulva sex, or even oral sex, I would probably stick to lighter foods, so like sides, minimal protein. Not too much starch! If you're thinking about anal sex, I would definitely stick to foods that are more on the fibrous side so that if you have to use the bathroom before, you'll be ready to go.

What are the things to avoid eating if you know you want to get down?
SL: Probably something that you've never eaten before. Nothing creamy, if you're somebody who's lactose intolerant. So no mac ‘n’ cheese, no creamed corn. Stuffing might also have dairy in it, but people make it all different types of ways. I guess ask what's being made.

What are the best positions for having sex when you're really full?
SL: probably say anything standing up. Maybe even doggy style, because one person is standing up and the other person could be supported by a pillow or their partner. I would definitely avoid anything on your back, of course, because you don't want to throw up or feel sick.

When you've eaten a ton, how can you focus on physical sensations other than your bursting belly?
SL: Be really heavy on non-penetrative things and caressing your partner, touching your partner's arms and legs, focusing on kissing, and doing anything to avoid the stomach. Just focus on other areas, like your thighs or your butt.

Would you rather have sex before or after the post-meal nap?
SL: Both? Depends on the mood, for sure, but I would probably say both.

 

Ryan Jones (aka @hotcookie) is the Director of Marketing & Community Engagement at Hot Cookie, a sex-positive cookie bakery in San Francisco.

What are some aphrodisiac foods that fit in on a Thanksgiving menu?
RJ: Growing up, my aunt was Portuguese, and she'd include oysters in her stuffing. I've heard that Brazil nuts, which should be eaten in limited quantities, have some restorative properties for men. It's a natural treatment for erectile dysfunction and testosterone levels. Incorporating a few of those in your mixed nuts for the holidays could be fun.

What are the best positions for having sex when you're really full?
RJ: I would say comfort and self-consciousness are things that come into play when you have a full stomach, or any time you're not feeling a hundred percent confident in where your body is at. My recommendation to anyone on that would be, be honest with your partner. “Hey, I'm feeling a little full right now, but that doesn't mean we can't have fun.”

Find positions that maybe are maybe a little more kicked-back and low-key than something that's athletic or vigorous. Take your time and linger in whatever position or activity you choose to do.

When you've eaten a ton, how can you focus on physical sensations other than your bursting belly?
RJ: A lot of people forget that the belly is actually a very erogenous part of the body. It's not one that gets a lot of focus in traditional sexual activities, but embracing that your belly is full, and that there's a lot of digestion and sensation going on there, might be a good way to flip the script in this situation.

Take the time, maybe with your partner—who probably also enjoyed a good feast alongside you—and really focus on the belly. Maybe get some oil or some toys and explore the sensations that you're having there, as opposed to trying to avoid it.

What are the best things to eat on Thanksgiving if you know you want to get busy later?
RJ: I'd go light on the turkey, because as we all know, that generally leads to some drowsiness, and you don't want to be too out of it when you're getting intimate with somebody. I definitely believe in the power of indulgence and the sensuality around food. Enjoy some dessert, maybe with your partner, maybe in bed. You know, that whipped cream doesn't just have to go on top of the pumpkin pie!

What are the main things to avoid eating if you know you wanna get down?
RJ: If I know I'm going to be getting intimate with somebody, I try to avoid anything that I know is going to create gassiness. Flatulence is usually not a welcome addition to bedroom activity of any sort.

Would you rather have sex before or after the post-meal nap?
RJ: Do I have to choose? Can't it be both?

Elia Winters (aka @eliawintersauthor) is a romance novelist and sex toy reviewer.

What are some aphrodisiac foods that would fit in on a Thanksgiving menu?
EW: I'm not much for seafood, but I know some folks make an oyster stuffing that's supposed to be delicious. Frankly, I think the best aphrodisiacs come from the appetizer or dessert realm. Strawberries and chocolate, anyone?

What are the best positions for having sex when you’re really full?
EW: I think most people aren't going to want to squash themselves together after going all-out on the potatoes and rolls, so perhaps a better move is some shared play with sex toys rather than partner intercourse. If you're dead-set on partner sex, I think being on your sides provides the least discomfort.

When you’ve eaten a ton, how can you focus on physical sensations other than your bursting belly?
EW: Oh gosh, I don't! I am a firm believer in letting each sensation get my full attention, and so if that sensation is a post-food coma, I wouldn't try to interrupt that with some sexy times. Hit me up post-digestion, though, and I'm ready to go.

What are the best things to eat on Thanksgiving if you know you want to get busy later?
EW: I think the best move is not to go overboard. Enjoy a little of everything, because Thanksgiving is all about those amazing side dishes and an endless wave of carbs, but don't eat like it's the end of the world. Savor your food and you're more likely to feel up for sex. Plus, then you have more leftovers...for after sex.

What are the main things to avoid eating if you know you want to get down?
EW: You probably don't want to eat anything that's going to upset your digestion. That means avoiding recipe experiments you've never tried before. Stay with the tried-and-true classics, the recipes your stomach will recognize, and that will keep your sexytimes from turning into a disaster. There's probably merit to avoiding carb-heavy foods like mashed potatoes and rolls, but I would never recommend that course of action. Potatoes and rolls are the best part of the meal.

Would you rather have sex before or after the post-meal nap?
EW: After, for sure! Let me sleep off my overindulgence, and then I'll be both well-fed and rested, a perfect combination for getting busy.