Especially since the rise of social media, everyone is bombarded daily with images of the “perfect” body. Queer men, in particular, face pressure to look a certain way. The holiday season can disrupt our normal eating and exercise habits, which creates self-consciousness in some people. That’s why sex writer Bobby Box and comedian @GayFatFriend put together the ideas below for confidence and healthy coping.
Log Off
Social media is one of the biggest perpetrators of body image issues, so when it feels overwhelming, log off. Even if it’s just for an hour or two. Use this time to do something that makes you feel good.
Consume Porn with Realistic Bodies
We love all types of porn. But from the physiques to the penises, what we see rarely reflects real life. Try watching amateur porn or creators on OnlyFans that more accurately represent real bodies and sex.
Confront Your Body (When Comfortable)
Some of us dislike our bodies so much that we avoid looking at them. But this behavior, while understandable, won’t herald progress. Take your shirt off around the house, or post a picture you would never think to post. Be bold and start normalizing yourself to yourself.
Curate a Body-Positive Feed
Follow people that make you happy and unfollow the ones that don’t. While social media algorithms can make triggering images difficult to avoid, there is some general housekeeping you can do to keep those instances minimal.
Be Patient
Because we’re taught such a limited body standard is beautiful, we need to actively reframe self-love through our own lens. It’s a process that takes as much learning as it does unlearning.
Bonus Tip from FUN FACTORY: Toys for Self-Love
Finding the perfect toy or accessory helps you discover new things about your body and your pleasure. It’s the most FUN way to build self-knowledge and confidence! Explore some of our tried-and-true toys below.
COBRA LIBRE II sits on the tip of the penis and creates a light suction sensation, for hands-free masturbation.
TIGER is a long vibe with ridges that massage the most sensitive parts of the vagina.
MISS BI is the standard-bearer for rabbit vibes, with two motors and plenty of girth.
VOLTA has fluttering wings that can deliver broad or pinpoint stimulation to any body.
Bobby Box (he/him) is a freelance sex writer and educator who’s worked as Grindr’s sex columnist and Playboy’s resident male sex writer and advisor. Follow him on Instagram and Twitter.
@GayFatFriend (he/him) is a comedian and influencer. Follow him on Instagram and TikTok.
This post was written by a guest blogger, and all opinions and ideas expressed are that of the author. All ideas included are for educational and entertainment value, and do not constitute medical advice.
