Picture this: You’re in bed with your partner or crush, and things are getting hot and heavy. The playlist you made especially for this moment is streaming through your speakers. Then, “Sandstorm” by Darude comes on, your person looks you dead in the eye, and they say, “I’m not in the mood.”
What happened? Well, sensual music can put you in the mood, but abrasive music can take you out of it. It’s a delicate art: Some Spotify users have tried to make the perfect seductive playlist, but even the most popular ones have varying degrees of success.
So, FUN FACTORY checked out three playlists, to ensure the nightmare scenario described above never happens to you. For your aural pleasure, here they are, in descending order of quality.
SEXY INSTRUMENTALS by Adam Tepperman
The team agreed that this playlist had the most sensual songs, making it perfect for a late-night hookup. The sales team, in particular, trends toward atmospheric music, and artists like Massive Attack, Khruangbin, and Zero 7 set the tone for free-form exploration. “My taste is like a sea hag dragging you into a cave to seduce you,” said a sales manager who’s also FUN FACTORY’s top goth.
There was just one objection: the stoner vibe. “If someone tried to play this and seduce me, I'd immediately be thinking about how the couch/bed I was on was unclean,” said a member of the marketing team.
sex by Will Darbyshire
This uncreatively named playlist comes in second place, with the team agreeing that it had the most no-fail sexy artists, like SZA, Frank Ocean, and Jorja Smith. But there were also some dissenters. A member of the sales team remarked that the music reminded her of working retail years ago. “I would feel like I was back in college working for minimum wage, which does not put me in the mood,” she said.
Members of the marketing team also made a general comment that playlists are supposed to unfold intentionally; they’re not meant to be played on shuffle. “Maybe there is some correlation between people who shuffle a playlist and people who randomly shuffle their moves? Both are equally annoying,” said the head of marketing.
SEX PLAYLIST / SENSUAL by VIZIER
This playlist came in a distant third place, with most team members not even deigning to comment on it. There’s so much Weeknd on this playlist! A “mix” is supposed to have variety! And the pretty dude from One Direction is on here, too, threatening to stink up your speakers.
The only comment came from one member of the marketing team: “It's giving 23 years old, mattress on the floor, ‘my buddy works at a club 45 minutes away and if we show up early, he might be able to get us a free drink.’ Also Tory Lanez makes me want to put more clothes on.”
Want more? Here’s more things we've used to keep us entertained and horny.
FUN FACTORY USA Stamp of Approval: Waterbeds
Over the work chat, we debated a provocative question: “Which ’90s sex idea is better? Silk/satin sheets or waterbed sex?” There was some lively discussion, but waterbeds won. See for yourself.
Arianna Stern, Content Manager and Copywriter: I feel like silk sheets there's at least some chance you're going to have a good time whereas the waterbed is like...for children
Jeanelle Mena, Junior Sales Manager: If we're gonna do waterbed sex then we need to throw in blacklight posters, haha!
Kristen Tribby, Head of Global Marketing: waterbed sex requires a person to really work with the waves. If you get off rhythm, it all goes down hill.
Arianna Stern: I just can't get used to the idea of sloshing noises
Arianna Stern: like maybe it would work for missionary but not for doggy or cowgirl
Arianna Stern: I'm anti-waterbed
Kristen Tribby: it doesn't make sloshing noises.
Arianna Stern: I'm googling and I'm learning waterbeds have long been considered sexy even though I associate them with my childhood friend Alex/another kid who got a waterbed pre-Y2K in case society collapsed at midnight
Kristen Tribby: Fun fact, pleasure chest started as a waterbed store NYC in the village. It also had some lube and a few basic sex toys in the back.
Michael Cox, Director of Sales: @Kristen well if you have to work with the waves we've always heard it was the motion of the ocean and not the size of the boat!
And there you have it!
TikTok Sex Advice to *Not* Follow: Coffee for Stronger Orgasms
Early last year, TikTok started buzzing (pun intended) with the rumor that caffeine improves an orgasm by 50 percent. It went viral, and the claim got even more outrageous: Some people claim that coffee makes an orgasm 50 times stronger. The meme still lives on to this day.
We support it when people pursue their pleasure. What we don’t support? Making stuff up. That’s right—the coffee myth is merely a myth. Caffeine can give you an energy boost in the sack, but it can also make you nervous and sweaty. Not hot.
If you’re looking to increase sensitivity, there’s an easier way: pulsators. Use ‘em during solo play, and you may find yourself more turned on during partner play. SUNDAZE is great for this, since it has so many settings (tapping, pulsing, vibrating, thrusting) that you can always discover something new.
For a Hot Movie Night: Dirty Dancing
What’s hot about it: Well, the dirty dancing, for starters! Patrick Swayze is in fine form as a blue-collar hunk in love with a middle-class girl. Jennifer Grey looks amazing in a leotard. Their forbidden romance adds to the overall horniness.
Who it might be good for: In a way, Dirty Dancing is a teen movie, but it holds up for adult audiences, too. Watch it for the nostalgia factor and for the ripped dancers’ bodies. Don’t watch it for racial or sexual diversity, because there really isn’t much.
Sex-positivity rating: B. The main character’s father obviously disapproves of all the horn, but his point of view doesn’t matter much to the story.
For a One-Handed Read: Unmasked by the Marquess by Cat Sebastian
Unmasked by the Marquess, a historical romance novel, tells the story of a British nobleman who falls for a non-binary, lower-class Londoner and tries to save face while also getting it in. The language is lovely and the jokes are good. Don’t forget to charge your toys before reading!
For a Solo Dance Party: Our Single with Swagger Playlist
Our cocky, poppy Spotify playlist celebrates singledom and all its sexual possibilities. Wear something cute, shake your butt, and enjoy your freedom—weird Valentine’s Day social pressure be damned.
All ideas included are for educational and entertainment value, and do not constitute medical advice.